Hope Grows When Someone Steps Up: A Journey into Treatment Foster Care

“I wanted to be the woman I needed as a child,” says the Jefferson County IT executive who’s welcomed eight teen girls into her home.

Stephanie is a mother of three grown biological children, a long-time IT professional and a rural Missourian with quiet determination. But for the teenage girls who’ve come through her home, many of them scarred by trauma and instability, Stephanie is something much more: a steady presence. A safe place. The woman she herself needed as a child.

“I’ve always had someone extra in the house,” she says. “A friend of my kid’s, a stepchild, someone who needed guidance, a little mentoring. And from supporting them and raising my own children, I learned that a support system is what they need. Eventually, I thought, I’m already doing this. I want to make it official.”

That realization led her to become a licensed foster parent five years ago. Since then, Stephanie has welcomed eight teenage girls into her home. Her calling became even more focused when one of the girls in her care began showing signs of deeper emotional and behavioral needs. Rather than see her transferred to another home, Stephanie chose to become certified as a Treatment Foster Care (TFC) provider, ensuring the teen could stay with her.

“You see kids sometimes going from home to home to home when their behaviors are challenging,” she says. “But this young woman, she had made progress in my home. I wasn’t going to let her go. I wanted to be the place where she stayed.”

Treatment Foster Care is a specialized form of foster care for children and teens who have experienced significant trauma, abuse, neglect or have serious emotional or behavioral challenges. It requires a higher level of support and training as well as a more focused and present team-based approach.

Balancing her role as a foster parent with an executive leadership position in IT at the Federal Reserve Bank isn’t easy. TFC involves intense coordination: frequent meetings, therapy appointments and behavioral support, which for Stephanie, often came with long commutes. Many of the children placed with her come from the St. Louis metro area; she lives in Jefferson County, where services are not as close.

“I’ve spent a lot of time in the car,” she laughs. “But I’ve also been fortunate to be able to work from home. That flexibility has made all the difference.”

For Stephanie, every girl who enters her home brings a new set of needs, and she tries to meet them with a personalized approach. “There’s no one-size-fits-all,” she says. “I’m not rigid. I try to lead with grace. And yes, my [biological] kids would probably say I’m a pushover sometimes. But sometimes, that’s what a kid needs — a little bit of control, a little bit of space. I will be intentional about giving them that.”

This wisdom didn’t come easily. Stephanie has faced her share of tough moments — verbal outbursts, threats, watching her adult children wrestle with their own discomfort. “Teenagers are already tough [to raise],” she says. “Add trauma to that, and it’s a whole different ballgame. But I don’t see bad kids. I see hurt kids. What you’re witnessing is trauma. And you can’t punish that away. You have to respond with care. Someone has to.”

That trauma-informed mindset has deepened as she’s grown in her role as a treatment foster care provider, especially with the support of Catholic Charities of St. Louis’ Good Shepherd, the ministry that oversees her TFC license. “They’re phenomenal,” she says. “My [TFC Specialist] has been with me from the start, and I can call her at midnight and know she’ll answer. You don’t get that level of support everywhere, and it absolutely makes all the difference.”

In addition to supporting the individual young women in her care, Stephanie wants to help build a stronger system to ensure new foster parents are supported the way Good Shepherd supports her.

“I’d also love to see more community outreach…more churches and community groups get involved,” she says. “And I want every new foster parent to hear this: you are not alone.”

Stephanie says her faith grounds her in service. “I consider myself a Christian. I believe we’re meant to help others. That’s why I do this.”

One of the most touching affirmations of her calling came in the form of a letter from a former foster teen, now 19, who Stephanie supported for years and continues to mentor. “She gave me a card for Mother’s Day,” Stephanie recalls, her voice softening. “It said, ‘You have been the only one who has stayed in my life. [I] thank God that He put you in my life because [not] everybody is blessed with people like you.’ And that’s what I always wanted these young women to feel, that I’m really in it with them. It’s why I do this.”